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Recruiting a Team Member October 22, 2004

Posted by dhar in Misc.

With electives starting from this term, there has been sudden spurt in emails on the general student mailing list of people trying to form groups for various assignments. Here is one such chain:

—–Original Message—–
From: Sumit Dhar
Sent: Thu 10/21/2004 7:45 PM
To: Students05
Subject: Offer Open Till Stocks Last

Advertisement from recent issue of COBE TIMES, SECTION C

Have you:

– Translated ethnic slurs for immigrant workers or written a soap opera for Star TV?
– Won either the Tour-de-France or the New York Marathon?
– Played guitar for Metallica and calculated the value of Pi to a millionth place at the same time?
– Performed covert operations for the CIA and the KGB?
– Cussed fluently in 24 foreign languages and 11 Indian dialects on National TV?
– Enrolled for COBE, Section C?

If you answered YES to any ONE of these questions, the group “Sax and Violins” is looking for you. The current members of this musical quartet are:

Ranjit Babu (Lead Guitar)
Venkata Raghavan (Bass Guitar)
Vikram Kamath (Drums)
Sumit Dhar (Keyboard)

The right candidate must be above 18 (Sorry Gulia) and should never have been arrested for drug peddling (Sorry Daman) or armed robbery. Ability to manage with just 5 hours of sleep per week a must. Knowledge of life, universe and everything desirable. Everything else, negotiable!

If you match the advertised profile, please apply with a passport sized photograph and a detailed resume to the undersigned.


To which we receive this reply:

—–Original Message—–
From: Manoj Ramaswamy
Sent: Thu 10/21/2004 7:47 PM
To: Sumit Dhar
Subject: RE: Offer Open Till Stocks Last

Take me… Please take me!


One of the group members wanted to know in which position. But that is besides the point.

We respond to the applicant’s plea:

—–Original Message—–
From: Sumit Dhar
Sent: Thu 10/21/2004 8:00 PM
To: Manoj Ramaswamy; Ranjit Babu; Venkata Raghavan Sarathy; Vikram Kamath
Subject:RE: Offer Open Till Stocks Last

Dear Mr. Ramaswamy,

Thank you for your response to our Ad in COBE Times.

I believe our HR Head Ranjit Babu would have gotten in touch with you and sent across the offer letter. According to the terms of the offer letter, you will have to treat the current members of the quartet to a fundoo lunch at Chutneys this Saturday. Once that formality is out of the way, you shall be inducted into the group.

We hope you have a long and productive association with Sax and Violins.

Sumit Dhar

But unfortunately this mail ran afoul of the HR Head Ranjit Babu. He sends a stinker:

—–Original Message—–
From: Ranjit Babu
Sent: Thu 10/21/2004 8:09 PM
To: Sumit Dhar; Manoj Ramaswamy; Venkata Raghavan Sarathy; Vikram Kamath
Subject: RE: Offer Open Till Stocks Last

Sax and Violins Inc. (Estd. 2004)
Human Resources and BDSM

Dear Mr. Dhar,

It has come to our notice that you have been sending out:
a. Matrimonial ads (Ref. Messrs. Students05)
b. Extortion threats (Ref. Shri Amit Aggarwal) ; and
c. Random ROFL emails (Ref. below).

In accordance with company policy and local laws, please report to the WTF-is-going-on committee with a bottle of beer, a box of cigars and a part edited, this is a family blog you see>. This will act as pre-emptive cover for unforeseen attacks that may-or-may-not-be launched by ‘one of the youngest CAs on campus’ that you may-or-may-not-have irked in random email (a).

Meanwhile, Mr. Ramaswamy (The artist formerly known as Capt. Spiff) is extended a warm welcome to the COBE Clutz Clan (henceforth referred to as CCC). Please tender your hafta to Don D’s den immediately.

Cheers and warmest regards,

PS: This is going to be one looong term…

With this small misunderstanding out of the way, the candidate pledges allegiance to the clan and is welcomed warmly into the group.

—–Original Message—–
From: Manoj Ramaswamy
Sent: Thu 10/21/2004 8:22 PM
To: Ranjit Babu; Sumit Dhar; Venkata Raghavan Sarathy; Vikram Kamath
Subject: RE: Offer Open Till Stocks Last
I hereby pledge my allegiance to the clan, for the better or for worse, till ASA does us apart.

OK guys, here’s some conditions from my side. I am not used to getting any grade other than A and an occasional A-!! So better get cracking on the assignments or be ready to be whipped! After all, what’s BDSM without some fun..


Hmm, looks like we all have too much time on our hands.



1. Bala Prabhu - November 10, 2004

Damn funny! Looks like you guys are thoroughly enjoying yourselves… 🙂

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